How big is Madelyn? SO BIG!
Our little Madelyn isn’t so little anymore. This week has been an amazing week of growth…for Maddie and her mommy! On Wednesday Maddie learned how to sit up on her own, crawl, and pull her self up….all in one day. Not to mention two bottom teeth just about to pop through. (yay!) Oh Maddie is just tickled pink! Laughing and smiling, and proud as can be. And Mommy? Well, she’s very proud of her little girl, but Mommy is struggling with some trust issues.
Mommy is learning what it means to worry about her daughter’s safety. No longer can I lay Madelyn on her blanket and know where she’ll be when I return. Yesterday, before we lowered her crib mattress, Madelyn was standing up and leaning over her crib. I layed her back down and went downstairs. Later, during her afternoon nap I heard a bang. You can only imagine what I thought happened! I ran upstairs to see what I thought was an empty crib and started to shake. (Here Madelyn was in the corner of her crib crying because she banged her head a little bit on the crib bumper.) I thought she fell behind the crib somehow. This was my first, though probably not last, moment where I seriously feared for my child’s safety.
Moments like this remind me that I cannot forever protect my daughter. I would only be fooling myself to think that I could control her every move or protect her from everything that could harm her in this world. I can be tempted to worry and anxiety in realizing this fact, but instead I am choosing to attempt to trust in my God. A God who never slumbers nor sleeps. A God who causes all things for our good and His glory. A God who loves Madelyn and knows her more than I ever can or ever will. In that hope alone I will attempt, in each adventure with Madelyn, to trust. And to thank God for each healthy and happy and safe moment He blesses us with…knowing that we do not deserve a healthy and happy and safe baby. Knowing that she is a gift from Him. A beautiful not-so-little-anymore girl, whom God has allowed us to enjoy for however long He chooses.
“Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God that surpasses all understanding, will guard your heart and your mind in Christ Jesus.” Phillipians 4:6-7